The Grass Is Always Greener (On the other side)

Philippians 4:11: "... for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content."
I have often heared people say, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."
It means that things always seem better somewhere else, out of reach,
or it can mean that someone's life is better than yours.
The grass is greener on the other side no matter how good you are,
there is always something else which feels more right, of that we can be sure.

"When I was younger, (a long time ago)
There were a few quotes well said;

"The Grass is Greener on the Other Side"

Is the one I most often read.
Maybe it was coz I thought it true
Looking at people around me;
Everyone else seemed to be better off
And like them, I wanted to be.

While I was in school and studying hard,
I envied the people with a job;
They always seemed to enjoy themselves,
Partying in a great huge mob.

Well, I grew up in time and soon had a job
That allowed me to live life with ease;
But try as I might, and believe me, I tried
My dreams were difficult to please.

I looked at the people earning nary a thing
Yet enjoying life to the fullest;
That's the life, I thought to myself
To live like that would be the coolest.

So here I am, with nothing to do
Trying to enjoy life and act very cool;
I have everything, but still am bored
I wish I was back in school!

The circle complete from school to riches
And back in a great circular tide;
And now I believe in the age old saying
The Grass is Greener on the Other Side!"
-- By Alejandro X

If we are honest with ourselves, most of us would be forced to admit
that there have been times when we thought that all that was wrong with life
was other people and the external settings of our lives.

There have been times when we probably thought that if we could just change our environment,
including other people; life would be perfect, and we would have our green pastures.
Man tends to blame the field for the lack of green grass.
He thinks his trouble is with his vocation, his boss or his employer, or the particular company
for which he works.

The doctor might look over his fence and see the schoolteacher.
He might say to himself, "As a doctor, I have such a hard life; I am always on call.
There are many times I have to get up in the middle of the night.
I cannot go to bed and forget my patients, and I am always thinking how I can help them.
They are my responsibility, and they are on my mind all the time.
I do not dare to take a long vacation because someone is always sick."

"If only I had been a school teacher.
School teachers have three months of vacation in the summer.
They work from about 8 am until 2pm or 3pm in the afternoon.
They teach the same things year after year and while they might find it necessary
to take a refresher course, occasionally, life seems to be so pleasant for them."

The schoolteacher in his thoughts envies the preacher.
He says, " Why in the world didn't I decide to be a preacher?
A preacher only has to prepare two 30-minute speeches each week.
People feed him fried chicken on every occasion.
Life must certainly be easier and the grass must grow greener for the preacher."

The preacher looks over his fence, and says, "Why didn't I become a banker.
Everybody in the community looks up to the banker.
He has regular hours.
He draws a good salary, and he gets off every holiday.
Everybody comes to him for advice on financial matters.
He is the 'top man' in the community."

The banker looks at his neighbor and wonders why he didn't decide to be a salesman.
The banker says, "I come to the same office every day of the week except Sunday.
I see the same people.
It is a monotonous grind.
I must make important decisions constantly, and can easily make a mistake in judgment.
The salesman, on the other hand, meets all sorts of people.
He gets to travel everywhere.
He finds life interesting.
If he is a top salesman, then he has a good income and few responsibilities."

The salesman looks across his fence, and thinks, "If only I had a job that would
let me stay at home.
If I had a job that didn't keep me away from my family so much of the time.
I could really enjoy the house we have bought, and could make it a real home.
I could get involved in the activities of the community, and I would not be sleeping
in a different bed every night."

Now we know that there is nothing wrong with us -- don't we?
There is something wrong with our vocation or our boss or the employees we have.
Or maybe, it isn't the job or the city; maybe it's our wives.
If our wives just didn't nag so much.
And, if they didn't spend so much money, causing us to keep our nose to the grindstone,
then life would be pleasant.

The wife may think, "If only I had a husband who enjoyed coming home to his family;
who didn't want to stay out every night playing poker or going to the club.
If only, he could find pleasure with just being with his family.

The husband may think, "If I had a a wife who wasn't always so serious
and always complaining, then I could be happy."

The children may think, "If only I had parents like ______________"

Men tends to find the thing that is wrong with life, not in himself,
but in the external setting of his life and in his relationships.

We seem to think that the trouble is the pasture that we are in,
and that's why the grass isn't greener.

Paul provides us a great insight to this kind of thinking.
He wrote to the church at Phillippi saying: " ... for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content."
(Philippians 4:11)

How could Paul have such a great attitude, and to be able to say that
when in fact he had such difficult times and suffered terribly.
He was an itinerant missionary with no home.
His friends and fellow countrymen did not understand him.
His enemies hounded him from one side of the Roman Empire to the other.
He was shipwrecked, thrown into prison, and beaten with many stripes.

Life was never easy for Paul, and yet, he could say:
" ... for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content."

At first glance, this may seem by some to be a philosophy of mere acquiescence.
Since there isn't any green grass, it doesn't make any difference what vocation a man has,
or where he lives or whom he marries, or what his children are in life.
Life can be very disappointing.

One can fold his hands, sit down, and admit ambitions can be the worst curse of mankind.
That wasn't what Paul had in mind.
What he meant was that outward circumstances and relationships of life can never determine
whether the grass is going to grow greener.
Or whether we're going to find life meaningful and pleasant.

It is from within that these things are determined.
It is only from within -- in terms of our insights and aspirations, our dreams and hopes,
our courage and willingness to work hard that the grass will ever grow greener.

Paul is insisting that effortless green pastures are an illusion.
All the relationships and situations of life have their limitations.
If the grass grows greener, it will be because of something that happens
in the spirit of man rather than to the changing of the outward setting of his life.

We must look for green pastures where we are.
If we do not find them there, then we will never find them.

A newspaper article about Dr. George Washington Carver,chemurgist at Tuskegee Institute,
was entitled, " No Greener Pastures."
This title embodied the philosophy of the famous black scientist who was born a slave.

He did much to diversify the agricultural life of the south.
One thing he did to teach farmers how to grow two crops of sweet potatoes
where only one poor crop would grow before.
He found hundreds of new uses for peanuts.
He even discovered a commercial use for corn cobbs and other waste products.

The soil did wonders for him because he understood its chemistry,
and was willing to work hard with what was available to make his vision come true.
We would all profit by adopting his philosophy of life:
"Start where you are, with what you have, make something of it, and never be satisfied."
That is what it takes to find green pastures.

How can I make the grass grow abundantly where I am?
How can I find a green pasture?
How can I learn with Paul to be content in whatever state I happen to find myself?

First, we must know what to expect of life and its relationships, and what not to expect.
One of the reasons that life loses its zest for so many of us is that we expect too much
of other people, and do not expect enough of ourselves.
We can spoil life y expecting too much of ourselves and our relationships.

Marriage is a good example.
The fairy stories all have one theme with regard to marriage.
The Prince Charming comes along and finds the Sleeping Princes.
He gives her a kiss, wakes her up, and they get married, and they live happily ever after.

This is just a fairy story
It is not true in real life.
Marriage is always between two imperfect human beings, and we cannot expect perfection
or 100% of happiness from the union of two human beings, neither of whom is perfect.

Marriage requires a lot of understanding and forgiveness, and a great deal of give and take.
Marriage is always a venture of faith, even when two people have known each other from their youth.

Marriage often fails because the two members of the union expect the wrong things.
They expect too much of their relationship.
Not being content with a reasonable amount of happiness and failing to understand
that a wedding does not make a marriage, they resolve to call the whole thing off.

Sometimes, it is because a man is not making a enough to support the wife
in the style to which she has been accustomed.
Sometimes, it is because he expects his wife to do everything as well as his mother did
after 30 years of experience.

Often, it is because young couples marry expecting that they will never have a disagreement.
They have not learned that disagreements and differences in point of view will arise,
and that they can become the basis of a deeper understanding.
There is a lot of joy in making up after a misunderstanding.

We should not expect more of our partner than we are willing to give of ourselves.
Not expecting the impossible, will cause us to be delightfully surprised
at the high percent of happiness that we will achieve.

Some folks, expecting the impossible of their marriages,
began looking for another mate who they think is the answer to their expectations.

Dorothy Dix had a newspaper column some years ago that made it clear
that we will not find 100% of happiness in marriage merely by changing husbands or wives.
She received a letter that said in part:
"We are three years married ladies blessed with a child apiece, beautiful homes,
good looks, cars of our own and generous allowances.

But we are in love with the other's husbands.
We have all been friends all of our lives and hate to break up each other's home,
and though we are willing to part with our husbands, we hate to hurt our children.
Please advise us concerning our problem."

Here is a part of Dorothy Dix's answer:
"You know your husbands.
You know their thoughts and peculiarities and little ways and some of them get on your nerves.
And your friend's husband seems alluring to you and preferable to yours,
simply because you have never lived with him, and don't know his little peculiarities and ways.

But if you swapped husbands, you would find that you have merely exchanged one set of faults
for another, and that one man is as hard to live with as another,
and that you can get tired of one man as easily as you can of another,
and in the end, you would not have bettered your condition at all."

It is easy to expect the wrong thing, and expect too much of life's relationships.
It is easy to forget that a wedding ceremony takes a few minutes,
but that making a marriage is a lifetime job.

We must remember that marriage is a relationship that we will never have
unless we continuously building it and finding new ways to bind ourselves to the one person
in all the world who should mean the most to us.

Marriage often fails because we have not understood these things.
The same is true of the city in which we live, the church to which we belong.
We can change wives or husbands, cities or churches or jobs,
but unless we change, there is not going to be much improvement in the relationships.
You can change your job, and you can decide, "I'm not going to be -----------------any longer,
and I am going to become a --------------," but unless you change inside,
there is not going to be any green pastures.

There is something more to be said.
Work at your present job, your marriage, and your other important relationships
as if it would be the only one that you would ever have.

Years ago, there was a sign in the window in a shop in New York City that read:
"No one in this establishment works more than 40 hours a week, except the executives."

And one of the reasons why they were executives was because they did not know
there was a time clock to punch.
They gave everything they had to their job.
They worked at it as if it were the only job that they would ever have.
The worked as if the grass can grow greener anywhere, and that is the only way we will make it grow green.

We can drift along from place to place and keep looking over the fence for the green pastures,
but every one of them has brown spots and insects.
There is no green grass, except as our vision, courage, and commitment, and hard work
make the grass grow greener wherever we are and with whomever we may be.

"The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence.
Fences have nothing to do with it.
The grass is greenest where it is watered.
When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be."
-- Quote by Robert Fulghum

When this change takes place within, we can truly say with Paul:
"... for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content."
He could not always determine where his field of activity would be.
He did not always have the same favorable conditions.

But in a long, hard life, Paul found that everywhere, even in prison in Phillippi,
Caesarea, and Rome, God was with him, loving and sustaining him.
More than that, sometimes Paul's best opportunities to serve was where
the grass was the least green and where life was most difficult.
He discovered that he can serve man in need wherever he was,
and that God's love knew no boundaries.
He learned that he could find peace and strength and joy so long as he was loyal
to the God comes to those who are in Christ.
That is how to find the green pastures that never fade.

What about you?
Can you say, "... for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content."
That is what God would like to see in your life and mine!

The sermon was adapted from several sources by Dr. Harold L. White